SER-AMTA Here we come!

In the morning I'll be boarding a train...yes, a train...to head to Spartanburg, SC for the Southeastern Regional Music Therapy conference.  I'm so excited!  This is kind of a new beginning for me and a time full of new experiences.

This will be my first time traveling by train.  I can't wait to experience this!  And it sure beats driving in the rain. Through Atlanta. In a car.  I've been looking online to find out all I can about riding the train.  And it looks really cool!  So I'll let you know if it is as fun as it appears.

This is not my first regional conference.  However, the last time I attended one, our region consisted of Mississippi, Arkansas and Louisiana.  I'm kind of a shy person by nature...something I've been working on.  I love meeting new people, but I'm always shy and a little bit of an introvert.  But that is changing. I'm learning to just be me and have fun.  And I'm so excited to finally get to meet other music therapists that I've been talking with over Twitter and Facebook.  Say what you will about social media (I even have some issues with all of it), but it is through these two sites that I have "met" some really awesome people...people who do the same thing I do and get what it's all about.  And a few who even share my love of fashion and celebrities.

I'm looking forward to meeting all those people and attending some great sessions.  In the past when I've attended conferences, I tend to just go to sessions and then hang out in my room.  A couple years ago I went to the national conference in San Diego...I think that's where I started this journey out of my "shyness" (is that even a word?).  I signed up to volunteer the registration booth in hopes it would force me to meet people.  And it worked!  I met some really amazing people that I still talk to today.  I think I finally learned to embrace all that a conference is about.

And I plan on doing even more this week at regionals.  I'm excited about our Tweet Up and about our drink dates.  I'm excited to learn even more about my field and about starting my practice.  I'm excited to finally meet the wonderful people I've "cyber" met.  I'm excited to go with one of my good friends, with my mentor/good friend and with some Carey students.  And I'm excited to ride that train!

I'm hoping to embrace all this week has in store.  Even through sleepless nights...who needs sleep?  I've got too many people to meet and not enough time to meet them all!  Not to mention the long train rides and the 4:14 am departure Saturday!  But I can sleep when I get back home.  I'm going to take it all in, learn as much as I can and hopefully make some new friends.

I hope to post an update from the conference when I get back...and after I get some sleep.

Oh, and no, I haven't heard about the grant yet.  I hate waiting.  Patience is not my strongest virtue.  But I'm trusting God will provide, and I'm not worrying.  Much.

Well, off to work and then on to Spartanburg!  

On My Way...

Well, the MAT is behind me!  For good!  Thankfully, I made above what I needed for grad school.  I was torn between doing a little happy dance in the room or crying tears of joy...either way they would have thought I was crazy.  So I refrained from doing either.  I have mailed in my applications and reference forms and applied for student loans.  So it looks like I'm on my way.

And while I'm excited, I have been a ball of emotions this week.  When you've invested over nine years of your life and energy in one place, it's hard to leave.  I'm down to about three and a half months and it's getting tough.  I'm so excited about the future, but I'm also terrified.  I'm excited to meet new clients and forge ahead with a new business, but I'm sad to leave the clients who have meant so much to me, most of whom I've known for the past nine years.  And I am going to hate telling them goodbye and figuring out the right time to let them know I'm leaving.  I'm excited to move to a new city, but I'm sad to leave my family and friends.  So it has been a very up and down week.  But I am on my way...

I have a lot to do in the short time I have left.  And I want to get it all done.  However, I don't want to miss anything along the way.  I'm a workaholic by nature, so it's hard for me sometimes to stop and smell the roses.  I either work so hard I don't take the time or I'm so tired I just hole up at home and sleep.  But I'm learning.  With age hopefully comes wisdom, and I'm learning to balance it all.

I'm so excited where life is taking me and so thankful that God has prepared each and every step.  I'm so not where I thought I would be at my age.  I knew I'd be married with kids and working at Baddour the rest of my life.  But God evidently has different plans.  Plans I'm learning to accept and love.  Here I am single, starting a business, starting grad school and moving...all by myself.  But I can't wait to see where it all leads and to see how it all turns out.

I'm on my way...

Tests, Applications, Apartments, Oh My!

So it's been a little while since I last updated this blog.  Life got a little busy and this was one of the things I let go.  Over the last couple of months I've had some great experiences in sessions that have confirmed I am definitely in the right profession.  And things are falling into place to confirm the move and grad school and private practice are the right direction I need to go.

Ok so first, for the sessions.  As most music therapists who work for a facility and work with the same clients day in and day out, sessions can become mundane and routine.  Sometimes it is very difficult to come up with new ideas and put new life back into your sessions...especially after 9 years at one place.  However, over the last couple of months, I've made the conscious decision to really work at planning new activities, personalizing sessions even more, challenging myself to do more.  And it has been amazing.  And fun!  

Last week a resident who has echolalia and who NEVER stops talking sat for 25 minutes silently listening to music!  I've tried a couple of different approaches with her and one finally worked!  We are fortunate at our facility to have a Snoezelen room...if you are not familiar with this, it is a room that provides opportunities for relaxation and sensory stimulation.  I have taken this resident in the room before and used classical music.  However, she had a very hard time relaxing and talked almost the whole time.  I know that she loves hymns and likes to sing along.  So last week I took a hymn CD with us to the room and played it.  I was amazed!  (I love when I still get amazed at Music Therapy!)  She sat in the vibroacoustic chair quietly, appeared relaxed and occasionally sang along to the hymns.  She did this for a full 25 minutes, and, for her, that is an amazing feat!  It was at that point that I came to a stark realization...

In school we are taught about developing goals and objectives for our clients, and that IS important for many reasons.  It proves what we are doing works.  It is necessary for insurance filing.  It gives us a way to measure progress or the lack thereof.  It gives us an idea of how to plan a session.  All of those things are important.  However, I am someone who views the client/resident/person as the most important part of a session.  And I realized that for her this time of uninterrupted quiet and relaxation is what she most needs.  And for now, this is what we will focus on.  She may have other goals that we can address in the future, but right now this is what she needs.  So it made me realize that instead of stressing myself out with developing these awesome goals and making it look all scientific and stuff, my main concern is to provide a quality music experience for her and to help improve her quality of life.  

This seems to be a resounding theme with my residents.  Most of them do have specific goals and objectives and we work on and measure those weekly.  However, the best results I see from sessions are the comments and attitudes of the people I provide services for.  "Music Therapy is better than a nap."  "I'm having fun!"  "I really had a good time in music therapy yesterday.  It made my day."  "I'm so relaxed and will be able to have a good day at work."  "It helps me to talk to you."  "I'm excited about Music Therapy."  And when they tell other staff about their sessions.  Now, these results may not make it into the scientific journals, but these are the results are what matter the most to me and show me Music Therapy works and makes a difference!

Another moment that made me see this was my session last week at Hope House.  I love these children dearly!  And I stress out each week about how to keep them focused and keep them from losing interest and completely leaving the group.  And last week was no exception.  In the end I got about 15 good minutes out of a 45 minute group.  And that was good!  Some weeks it's all I can do to get one song out of them.  But as I thought back on the day, I realized the kids' reactions tell me how much they get out of music.  Every time I walk in the room, they rush to me to hug me and are so excited.  They scream "it's the music teacher!"  That says all I need to know!  Even if all I get is 15 minutes, that 15 minutes is what counts.  They DO get something out of it even on the days I feel discouraged.  They love music.  I hear it in their voices when they sing the "Hello Song" at the top of their lungs.  I see it in their faces when they strum the guitar and fight each other to be next to play.  And the staff confirm it with their stories of how they play the drums for visitors or how they sing something other than "Jingle Bells" now.  Those are the results I live for.  Again, Music Therapy works and makes a difference!  

And this epiphany was what I needed to get me motivated again.  If you've followed this blog (and it's whopping 2 whole posts so far - 3 counting this one!), I'm in the process of moving, starting grad school and starting a private practice...all stepping out in faith because in my own strength it's all impossible.  And as I usually do, I was very excited once the decision was made and jumped right on it...however, also as I usually do, I got busy with other things and let this go awhile.   But after this last month, my residents are what motivate me to get back on track.  And while these are the very residents I'll be leaving in four months, they will always be in my heart for the mark they have left there. And for who they have made me.

So now that I'm motivated again, I'm back in the swing of things.  I'm taking my MAT (Millers Analogies Test) Thursday...so prayers are greatly appreciated.  I normally do well with standardized tests, but it has been YEARS since I've taken a test.  I took the practice test this weekend and scored 62% and it showed that was a high percentile...but I don't have any clue how to interpret scores.  I just know what I have to have on Thursday...and that's the number I'm going for.  So please pray and send good thoughts my way Thursday morning around 9:00 am!  Thank you!

After the MAT is completed, I'll be sending in my grad school application and FAFSA application.  Hopefully it won't take too long to hear back from Carey (William Carey University).  Even though I pretty much know all of the grad school committee who reviews the application, I'm still nervous.  This is where I received my undergrad degree, and I was a good student.  They know I'm willing to work hard.  So hopefully that test score will be high enough...

Also, on March 25, more prayers are requested.  We have applied for a grant to fund music therapy services in the Hattiesburg area, and this is the date we hear the decision. Hopefully they will understand the benefit of Music Therapy.  This grant will belp provide services for four facilities in the area.  So March is a HUGE month!

Then in April, I will be looking for an apartment.  And setting up meetings with my Small Business Administration counselor to set up a business plan and get the ball rolling on that.  I've attended one seminar, but that kind of got put on hold with everything else going on.  Which leads me to another epiphany I recently had.  (Yes, I have these randomly and frequently.)  

You make time for what's important.  I feel so behind at my current job because I have so much excess stuff to deal with that, for the most part, has nothing to do with my actual job.  And because of the nature of where I work, our offices are always full of residents who need to talk or want to visit or just want to say hi.  So it gets a little frustrating at times.  In private practice, while I won't have some of these issues to deal with, I'll have other things that will come up.  And I've realized that you can make every excuse in the book for why things don't get done.  But in the end, you make time for what you want to make time for.  And you have to learn to manage that time in a healthy way so you don't burn out.  So that is my new goal...to work on time management and planning and not trying to do everything myself.  I am not superwoman, and we all need help from time to time.

So that's what the next few months hold for me.  Taking the MAT.  Completing my application.  Hopefully getting approval for a grant and finding funding.  Finding a place to live.  Setting up a private practice.  And figuring out how to say goodbye to the residents who have profoundly changed my life.  I know it's going to be an emotional roller coaster these next four months.  But I know I'm headed in the right direction.  And I know I don't have to have all the answers right now.  God will reveal the next step when it's time to take it.  In the words of a Francesca Battistelli song..."This is life.  Don't miss it!"